Saved Texts

These are just a few of my favorite texts that I’ve saved over the past few months. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. And, No. There will no no explanation of what any of them mean. Not so surprisingly, they’ve all come from the same person.

“I’m in the lobby kissing hands and shaking babies.”

“Close the fuckin door. There’s a chupacabra out there!”

“I’ll be the guy in charge of stealing the fat from the lipo clinic.”

“Explain, in detail, the northern migration of the chupacabra citing weather patterns and recent industrial activity.”

- “Bonus: Draw a picture of a chupacabra defending it’s nest from human intruders.”

“That’s just what we need. A deer turning tricks in the back yard.”

“That’s why Jesus invented night vision.”

“We can find a baby for you to kick this weekend.”

4 Responses to “Saved Texts”

  1. Lindsay Says:

    Are these from who I think they are from?! And seriously, its spelled CHUPACABRA… geez. :)

    I think my fave is the one about the deer turning tricks in the back yard. I dunno why, but it’s just brilliant.

  2. Walter Says:

    I do apologize for my spelling mistakes. It’ll never happen again. :-)

  3. kayla Says:

    i dont know if you got my comment, but mouthwash would be AWESOME if you were serious.
    hugs

  4. kayla Says:

    hey you.
    en3 kayla pollard (until things are final, then its back to MAyNARD, as wearing his name on my uniform burns a hole in his chest)
    fob ghazni
    prt ghazni
    apo ae 09354

    thank you so so much. you are so awesome. i really do miss our chats….you should email me (i lost your address) so we can get to talking again :)

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