Super Psycho Magnet

Rough translation: “Being perpetuated (is) the sovereignty of the land to righteousness/ to balance, Hawai`i”

It’s been two years since I’ve left Hawaii and I think I’m ready to talk about it now. There are things that I’m not ready to discuss, nor will I ever be. There are things that I’m glad that happened that won’t be discussed and there are bad. It’s hard to draw the line where the good ends and the bad starts.

One of the good things that I took from there was the experience of some of the people that I met. More so were the people that were my true friends.

Anywhere you go there will be good friends and bad friends. The bad ones will disguise themselves as good. They wear pretty wool sweaters but believe me, they are wolves down deep.

The night before I left I was shown incredible hospitality by the people I thought were mere acquaintances. For the year and a half I had been there I had been taking Betsy to a dog park. The night before I left they threw me a surprise Going Away party, complete with dishes brought by people that I didn’t know and lots and lots of beer. It was the kind of party that if I had known earlier, I may not have tried so hard to leave the island.

Even after the party was “over” Betsy and I were invited back to a friends house to watch movies and wake up to some good ole pancakes and sausages.

I guess this is a tribute to the people that I left that loved me and loved Betsy. Even after she jumped on a table at the Pet Expo and spread the hand-made jewelry all over the floor.

Thank you. All that you did for me kept me from going completely insane.

I’ve had it with Japanese tourists. Seriously. I’m going to lose my shit if one more bothers me.

I almost hit one with my car on accident yesterday. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. She jumped out in front of my car while I was trying to turn right on a red on my way to work. Thing is, I had the right of way in actuality. Technically she did because she was a pedestrian. Morally? I should have run her the hell over. She had the little red hand telling her not to cross the street. She did it anyway.

Another time, while driving in my car with Lindsay, I almost hit one on a bike. Again, not on purpose. She was in the middle of the right lane of a 4 lane road and I was coming up in the left lane. WITHOUT LOOKING she cut over to the other side of the street causing me to slam my brakes on and smoosh the very yummy muffin I had just bought from Starbucks into my steering wheel. I didn’t hit her, I should have though. I should have just slammed the gas and ran her and her bike over, but I didn’t.

When I was 5 my parents took my sister and I to the Smithsonian. I remember standing in the Air and Space museum looking at the recreation of the moon landing. Suddenly, I was grabbed by 1000 tourists and turned around. I tried to run to my Mom and Dad but they held me there and made me take a picture with them. I would actually pay to see that picture now. I’m sure it’s a pretty funny picture of 1000 tourists and a terrified little white girl who may or may not have peed her pants a little.

This morning was the straw that broke my proverbial camel’s back. I took Betsy out for her morning walk with her vest on. She’s been doing really well lately making the distinction between working while the vest is on and having fun while it’s off. We were walking at the tree line where we usually do when all of the sudden she was TORMENTED by three Japanese White-Eye’s. Betsy lost all composure and tried to chase them. For that I had to punish her. By punish I mean I flipped her on her back to let her know I’m still alpha and she needs to listen to me.

I tried to keep walking and those little birdy bastards followed us. They would swoop down from the trees and land in front of Betsy and hop just out of her reach. She still has her vest on at this point so I had to punish her again for not listening to me. I finally decided that I had had enough and walked away from the tree line. We walked around the park for a little while and Betsy did her business.

As we started walking home I went back to the tree line and low and behold guess who came back to mess with her? Those little green assholes came back and started doing the same thing. That’s when I started to lose my shit.

I made Betsy sit so I could take her leash and vest off. I waited until one was right in front of her and gave her the command to go. Oh the fun that was had. She spent the next 10 minutes chasing those little fuckers around the park and into trees and stalking them. Once I thought they had had enough I called her back to me and made her sit so I could put her leash back on. Not 30 seconds passed and those jerks came back. I didn’t even have the leash on her and they came back. So I had to let her get them again. She didn’t eat any of them she just wanted to chase them.

These birds are not native to Hawaii. They’re tourists. They’re tourists that like to torture my dog.

Holy shit, I can’t wait to leave this island.

It’s been way too long since I’ve picked up my camera.

I’ve been feeling a little emo lately and I think it’s defined very well here.

You can see the zit forming on my nose. I hate you VOG! Give an f-ing cheer for volcanic ash ruining my car and my skin.

(((BTW, screw you Kilauea! I’ve got your number. See what happens when you ruin the finish on my car. I am SO coming after you! Not you Pele. I love you and you are beautiful. I would not mess with you. The Vog has to go though!)))

For weeks now I’ve been facing a big decision. Unfortunately I’m not at the point where I can talk about it openly. Maybe soon though.

Anyway, recent events have lead me to make the decision if I want to stay or go. Things came to a head yesterday and I’ve got to make a decision soon. I’ve talked to my parents, I’ve talked to counselors, and I’ve talked to my friends. Every opinion has been more than valid and different. Every opinion has been greatly appreciated too but none of them have gotten me any closer to making my own decision.

Yesterday afternoon when I left work and this morning when I got in my car this was the exact part of The Doors Light my Fire that was playing.

The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre

I think it might be a sign.

Just so you know… polyester and 80 degree heat don’t mix. If you’re ever on a committee to decide what fabric to use for a uniform used in 80 degree heat, for the sake of those who actually have to wear it, please DO NOT pick polyester.

Thank you.

I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long. I went home three weeks ago to my parents house. They have Amish neighbors. This means they are stuck with dial-up. I can’t deal with dial-up.

I’ve been dealing with stuff and I just haven’t really felt like writing a whole lot. However, I’m going to start blogging again this week. There have been a few things that happened that I need to get off my chest. These things include but are not limited to: “Why I Decided to Stop Drinking on St. Patrick’s Day,” “Who Brings a Rabbit to a Dog Park,” and “Keep Out: A Cautionary Tale of Diamond Head Bark Park.”

As of 8:20 am HST one of my good friends, Lindsay, was turning off her phone. She turned it off because she was boarding the second and longest leg of her journey out to visit me. I couldn’t be more excited!

Lindsay and I have been friends since I was about 15. It was my sophmore year of highschool and Lindsay’s freshman. I don’t actually remember how it happened. It was probably something having to do with the Drama Club of which we were both members. Yeah, that’s right. We were (read: are) huge theatre geeks and damn proud of it. We started hanging out and while we fell out of touch for a while, we’re back in touch now. That’s the important thing.

Now she’s on her way out to visit me. YAY!

A while back we decided that we needed to have a drink that’s just our drink. It was decided by both of us that the most fitting was a Red-Headed Slut. :::giggle-snort:::

1oz - Jagermeister
1oz - Peach Schnapps
2oz - Cranberry Juice

All the ingredients were bought last night to include a bottle of Gin and a bottle of 100 Absolut. These next two weeks will be hazy and fun! I really can’t wait!

“Edna, Edna! You’ll never guess what Marcy just told me!”

These little guys are Zebra Doves. They’re scavenging, dirty, begging, nasty little pests and I love them. Something about common creatures makes me happy. Everyone else ignores them or shoos them away. You really do see them everywhere you go around here. They’re usually looking for food is chasing off other birds that are trying to get near their food. Sometimes you get lucky though and you find a couple just sitting around and gossiping a bit.

…with myself.

My parents are in the air right now. They started their journey at the ass crack of dawn to fly from BWI to Huston. From Huston they’re flying into Honolulu International then on to Kona on the Big Island.

I’ve done some pretty heavy lying. They flat out asked me if I could get time off work to meet them. I told them no. I told them that my work schedule is crazy right now because #1 - were getting new carpets (true) and #2 - regardless of the fact our offices are all messy with boxes our work hasn’t slowed down (true) and for those two reasons I can’t get any time off (lie).

When my parents get to Kona I’ve told them to look for someone bearing a sign that has our last name on it. I did not tell them it’s going to be me waiting for them. YAY!

Merry Christmas (or Happy Festivus), Mom and Dad! I’ll see you today!

(Thanks to time stamp editing this will post around 7pm HST. I’m not taking any chances in them seeing this before they land in Kona.)

Timeline for 10 December 2007:

4:00 pm - Get off work. Walk to car. Drive home.

4:15 pm - Greet puppy at the door. Sit for a bit and talk to roommate.

4:30 pm - Make the decision to change out of work clothes.

4:31 pm - Walk to bedroom and search through clothes pile.

4:32 pm - Find favorite jeans. Old Navy, Ultra Low Waist, Size 14, Boot Cut, Distressed.

4:33 pm - Put on favorite Jean.

:::This next part is where things turn ugly.:::

Walter Bean (thinking): “Man, the dryer really did a number on these jeans. They’re really tight today. I should just do the girly stretch out thing. The thing that looks more like a low sqat than anything else.

:::stretch:::

:::KKRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIP:::

Walter Bean (thinking): Damn. That sucks.

:::sigh:::

::::sobs:::

I went to put on my favorite jeans yesterday after work and the damn things ripped turning a crappy work day even crappier. It was then that I decided that I’m been putting off eating healthier way too long. I don’t mean eating healthier like getting the Diet Coke to go with my two half-pound Bean, Cheese and Rice Burrito’s from Taco Bell. I mean like eating more fresh veggies and not pizza for dinner every night. I mean actually watching and tracking what I eat. I mean not eating an entire thing of Ben and Jerry’s as a treat to myself because I had a banana for breakfast.

Karyn had sent me this link for Spark People a long time ago. It worked for the time being but then I decided that McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers and massive amount of Taco Bell were WAY better then eating the stuff they recommend. Well, I joined it again last night. I joined it for the second time right before I went out to take Betsy for a nice long walk/jog.

There’s also a place on the site where you can have buddies. If anyone thinks they could stand to lose a little poundage you can be my buddy and we’ll do this together!