Super Psycho Magnet

It’s been quite a month. This is the last entry for NaBloPoMo. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

In a sense, it’s been challenging and I do enjoy being challenged. In that respect it’s been fun.

On the other hand, it’s gotten quite hard at times as I’ve been incredibly busy this month between getting my holiday shopping done, starting a job at the Humane Society, working on photography and art projects, and making tons of time for Betsy it’s been a very long month. Add writing a blog once a day to that mix and it becomes very hectic.

I didn’t get every day done. In addition to all of the things listed above I’ve had quite a few wrenches thrown into my spikes that stopped my in my tracks. The fact that I had to drop over $1500 on unexpected Vet bills and a few other unforeseen doesn’t help my stress levels of motivation either.

One thing I’m happy with is the new planner I bought at the very beginning of the month. I got one that was a little too well organized for me with the hopes it’s habits would rub. They have, sort of. I’ve become so well organized, for the most part, I’ve penciled in time walk the pup and when I shower. Next month I start on planning when I pee.

Next month will be better. I know I always say that but I really believe it this time. I get visitors toward the end of the month that I love and care for deeply and for that I’m truly excited. I’m finally getting motivation to correct some other stuff in my life that has been a little off lately and I can’t wait for that!

Introducing, again, my niece!

Her Mom (my sister), Carly, has started her very own blog, The Adventures of Peanut Butt, just for Helen updates! I’m so excited I could crap my pants, but that would give my sister another diaper to change, so I won’t!

Living so far away from the rest of my family is really hard. The fact that my sister and her family live so much farther away from our parents makes things more difficult. A lot of times I feel completely disconnected from everyone and no amount of phone calls or e-mails will satisfy that void. However, when my sister would send out little e-mails with pictures in them I was always so excited! With this new blog I get to feel a little closer to my family and most importantly my beautiful niece.

#1 - If you’re trying to prove to your co-workers you DON’T hold a black belt in crazy, it’s best to not lose your shit in front of them.

#2 - Nine times out of ten it’s not as bad as you thought it was and people usually aren’t trying to destroy you.

#3 - Smores Pop-tarts cure EVERYTHING!

This is the first election that I’ve really payed attention to. You may call me a bad American but this will actually be the first election in which I will vote.

I know. I know. :::SHOCK! HORROR!::: I did not Rock The Vote and I did not Vote or Die.

Before when the canidates were presented to me I cared but not really enough to do anything about it. Even if I had voted in the last presidential election I’ll bet that most people would not have cared for my vote. It’s not that I though Bush was doing that fantastic of a job; it’s that John Kerry scares me. It wasn’t that I disagreed with his policies either. He just really gives me the willies. Since I am military and we’ve got to have the picture of the president in all the buildings…. I just can’t imagine having to look at him for 4 years.

Well, the t-shirts were right. It is next time and I am voting, Hippie.

This being the first time I’ve really thought about who I want to run this fine country, I’ve got a couple questions that need answers.

#1 - Is it always this hard?

#2 - Do you get behind the person who you think is right for the job or the person the person that you think is more likely to get their party bid?

#2a - Do you stand behind the one you want then switch to the lesser of the two evils once the parties have made their nominations?

#3 - Is it necessary to take personal lives into consideration?

#3a. Is someone not a good candidate because they’re divorced and maybe doesn’t have a good relationship with their kids?

#3b. If 3a is true, then can’t the same thing be said for someone whose spouse had an very public extra-marital affair at his place of business, causing a very public humiliation not to mention complete disrespect and heartache, and said person is seemingly OK with it? Shouldn’t your president have a little more respect for themselves?

#4 - Has the mud-slinging always been this immature or does it just seem like it because I’m actually paying attention this time? I half expected one of the candidates to start a slap fight then point at the other one and say, “They started it!” or say, “I know you are but what am I?” during some of these debates.

These are just a few questions I have. Everytime I think I have my canidate something else comes up. Something like this, which was sent to me by my father. I know it’s just a quiz and I should be following my heart and my head. This is just one more curve ball thrown into an already confusing game.

Two things I’m thankful for.

1. The Thanksgiving Song (slightly modified)

Tofurkey for the girls and
Tofurkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish tofurkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love tofurkey on Thanksgiving

2. This article from CNN. Really, I just think Anderson Cooper is hot.

Happy Thanksgiving!

At the end of October I made the executive decision to stop taking my meds. Actually, I was really just too lazy to get the prescription refilled so I told myself the story that I didn’t need them anymore until I actually believed it.

My situation has changed so drastically since I started taking them back in July that I honestly did feel like it was ok to stop. I tested myself for about a week then went to talk to my Doctor. She agreed that if I felt I didn’t need them anymore it was ok to stop. She also made me promise her that I would come back for a new prescription if things started getting bad again.

Things have been really great since I stopped. I’m not the lethargic, lazy, unfeeling zombie I was before. I can actually drink a glass of wine and not have a vomiting hangover the next morning. It’s awesome.

However, since I’ve stopped it seems like the Powers above want to test me. It’s like they’re intentionally throwing things at me to try and knock me over. In the carnival that is my life, I’m stuck on the Milk Bottle game and the Gods have an unlimited supply of baseballs.

The latest test was administered yesterday and now they’re playing with Betsy… and now I’m pissed off.

Poor little Betsy was running around and acting like everything was ok, and maybe for her it is. My roommate and I had noticed on Sunday evening she hadn’t pooped since Saturday night. We also noticed that she was squatting 6 or 7 times every time we went outside which is 5 or 6 more times than normal. I just chalked it up to her tummy being upset.

I called the vet on Monday to see if there was something over the counter I could give her to loosen her up a little. They told me to give the poo another day but it was much more important to get her a urinalysis to see if there’s an infection. They asked me to collect a sample. If you’ve never had to try to collect a urine sample from a dog I don’t recommend it. That is unless you like you’re dog looking at you like you’ve just violated her personal space then not speaking to you for an hour afterwards. Needless to say I could not collect a sample so I had to drop her off at the vet.

He called me about 4 hours later to give me the results of her pee test. The results were inconclusive. They did definitely find a bacterium that was indicative of a bladder infection but there was also a possibility of bladder stones too. The Doctor wanted x-rays. I gave him permission to do whatever he needed to do to make her better.

I got the call around 4 pm that she was ready to be picked up. That’s when the bombs hit.

The vet and I went into the exam room so he could show me the films. The first one he showed was of her side. He politely explained everything we were seeing. Then he pointed out a quarter-sized circle in her bladder. That was the first stone. Then he showed me the second film of her on her back. That’s when we could see the rest of them. Her little bladder has a bunch of them, or so he thinks. The problem is he has to treat the bladder infection first, and then he can work on the stones.

He also showed me where her stomach and colon are. I thought they were supposed to be as visible as they were. I was wrong. The reason they were so visible was because she’s stopped up. Her entire colon and her little tummy and filled with poo. That, too, needs to be treated with laxatives. On top of that I can’t feed her for 24 hours in hopes that she’ll poo everything out instead of just shoving more stuff in there.

We could also see her hips in the second x-ray. That’s when I got confirmation on her hip dysplasia. He doesn’t want to do surgery. He thinks it can be treated medically for the rest of her life. I’m thinking about getting a second opinion because I don’t know if I’d rather spend a whole lot of money right now or spend a little every month for an entire year.

To recap this is what is wrong with my Betsy.
- Hip Dysplasia (confirmed)
- Bladder infection
- Multiple stones in her bladder
- The worst case of constipation EVER

Like I said, the Gods keep throwing stuff at my head on a daily basis. Guess what, Bastards? My bottles are rigged and you’re not going to knock me down.

Dear AT&T,

When you sign a contract you are supposed to live up to said signature.

When you allow your network cables to disintegrate you cause problems for many many people. More importantly, you cause problems for me.

Yesterday and today were the days from hell. I had to work on presentations from multiple foreign nationals. I had six presentations given to me on six different thumb drives and CD’s. These presentations needed to be uploaded within 15 minutes.

This may seem like a simple task and usually it is. However, when your servers go kaput it makes things very complicated. You actually affect the world.

Let me break down to you exactly how important I am, as simply as possible.

There’s a thing called National Security. Maybe you’ve heard of it. If you haven’t you might want to look into it. It might be beneficial. National Security includes disaster management, anti-terrorism, and inter-continental cooperation and information dissemination.

The kittens that work on such projects like to be pet. You’ve got to rub some overseas bellies every once in a while. That’s what my center does. We scratch behind the ears of big wigs; we make sure the kitty’s coats are shiny.

I myself, personally, don’t do the scratching. My boss doesn’t scratch either. However she answers directly to the people that do the scratching and I answer directly to her.

I get the small, simple, yet important jobs. My job yesterday was to put presentations together so when the meetings commence each kitten can prance in front of the others and let them know that their litter doesn’t stink.

When your networks fail and I am not able to do my job claws come out. When claws come out I get scratched. I don’t like being scratched.

By allowing your networks to lapse you’ve made my job very difficult. I’m not trying to say that you’ve stopped me from doing my job. You haven’t. You must have realized by now how much better than you I really am. That being said, you’ve made my job more difficult and that doesn’t make me a happy kitty.

You affect National Security when you affect my job.

A couple questions that might help your perspective:

Do you want another September 11th?

Do you like the sound of cats fighting?

Do you want a natural disaster to incapacitate the call centers you’ve unpatriotically outsourced to third world countries?

If you’ve answered “no” to any of the above questions I suggest you do your god-damn job so that I may do mine.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Walter Bean
Chief of Master Plans

p.s. The damn sequins on my shoes keep catching on the hem of my pants. That’s your fault too!!!

Walter Bean: “How come Harry gets steam out of his ears?”

Alterton Bartleby: “I know! All of his friends got animals! How come he gets the Steam Engine?”

WB: “Yeah! All of his friends get to be cool stuff and Harry gets the Steve Engine! Wait… Did I just say Steve Engine? What the hell is a Steve Engine?”

AB: “It’s a train that runs on Steve’s!”

Brought to you by LOLCATS!

This Holiday Season is going to be very different.

Instead of making the trek all the way home I’m having a couple visitors out to see me. It’s going to be the very first holiday that take-out in involved. It’s also going to be the first holiday where I’ve got to try to explain to my Mom and Dad that I don’t celebrate Christmas but I do celebrate Festivus. It’s just that Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus and, while I think it’s a lovely story, I don’t believe it. However, as it is a family tradition, I still celebrate as usual.

Anyway, with me not going home this year and with guests coming to see me it means I’ve got to get my Christmas shopping done early. I’ve already started on some but there are a couple people that are, and always will be, mysteries to me. Those people usually just get gift cards. I hate doing that though.

With me having to get my presents bought early I find it only fitting that I get my list out as soon as possible. Of course these are only a few suggestions and everyone should feel free to improvise!

Gift cards from Lush are SUUUUCH a good idea! This store is like CRANK for your body!

Canon EF 17-40mm f/4L USM Ultra Wide Angle Zoom Lens. This is, after all, just a wish list.

I believe that’s my stapler.

Fun with instant picture taking.

Even though they are yummy!

Poor Pluto. Actually, just about anything from this site…

These are just a few suggestions. There is more stuff on my Amazon Wish List. If you search for my old Hotmail address you’ll be able to view the whole list. If you don’t remember it I can send it in an e-mail to you.

Also, as always, a house, new car and enormous diamonds are always welcome as well!