Super Psycho Magnet

Dear Sir,

I should start by apologizing for this apology being slightly after the fact. After 14 years some would say that it’s too little too late, but hey, what’s a few years between friends?

When I first saw you, I was 11 years old. I thought you were cute even under all that cake make-up, straw hat and overalls. The first time I actually meet you was the first week, of my first year in high school. It was the first Drama Club meeting of the year. That was the day I got my nickname for the rest of the year. ((My sister had graduated 3 years prior so the people that were freshmen when my sister graduated were seniors when I was a freshman.)) For the rest of the year I was known as the Little Sister.

Moving on, I remember watching you as Sergent-at-Arms and thinking about how cute you were. I also remember thinking that you could never like someone so much younger, and you probably already had a girlfriend, and I should probably just shut up and go about my business.

I didn’t. No surprise there. Somehow I worked my way into your group of friends and made my own mark. And you did notice me. And somehow we started dating.

I think it was the fact most of my friends were seniors that brought on my delusions of grandeur. I was the only freshman I knew who was hanging out with the cool Drama Club seniors (Jesus H. Christ, I’m a nerd). When someone suffers from the feeling of being much greater then they really are they tend to take things for granted. They tend to take people for granted.

That’s exactly what I did to you. You were always good to me. You opened doors and always paid for my way. We talked for hours on the phone and in person. You comforted me when I was upset. You were the only person to visit me when I had mono for three weeks, knowing that you would inevitably get sick too (and you did).

For all that you did for me, the only thing I have to do is apologize for the way I treated you.

It’s really easy to sit here and say that it was because I was young and I didn’t know any better. I knew right from wrong by the time I was five. It really boils down to the fact that I was a brat, and maybe I still am. I always wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it and it didn’t matter who else was there.

For all the things I did, I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Walter Bean
Chief of Master Plans

I can’t remember the last time I was able to say that.

When I was in Hawaii, everyone I worked with with was married, had children, or both and no one would say, “Hey, it’s been a rough day. Lets go get a drink after work.”

It’s been almost two years since someone has said that to me. Until tonight.

Granted we stayed for less then an hour but I cannot tell you how good it felt to sit at a table with friends from work and discuss…. nothing really. Just to sit there and blather about nothing. It was awesome.

Don’t get me wrong. The friends I have are awesome and I would move the world for them. It’s just been so long since I’ve been able to go out with people and do nothing.

The feeling I have at the moment is indescribable.

It’s the closest I’ve felt the being myself in over two years.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted for a while but I really didn’t want to keep talking about the same thing over and over again. The main thing on my mind is that I’m going home soon. Actually, I’m leaving sooner then I had expected. The day for my flight out of here kept moving up one day at a time, until it came down to them telling me yesterday that I’ll be out of this country in 4 days.

Wait. What? You mean it’s real? I’m really going home?

That’s right. It is real. It still hasn’t quite hit me either. There are so many things to do and so little time to do them in I’m swimming a little. I’ve got to pack, mail all my crap out, do all of my outprocessing crap, say good bye to all my friends here and try to relax so I don’t drive myself and everyone around me crazy. I guess that’s the biggest challange.

I just wanted everyone to know how big of a dork I am.

I am sitting in my room alone on my computer teaching myself HTML code.

The really sad thing is I’m getting better at it.

My roommate, Karyn, is out hanging out with our friends. I’m sitting here. It’s my own choice. It really is.

I am such a Frickin’ DORK!!!

Wahoo! It’s here! Finally!

Obviously, it’s still under construction but it will be finished soon!